I am still in shocked. Killin send me an SMS last night saying that Aunt Jenna had passed away and it seems like strings of bad news crawling up one by one to my surprise.

First, Nikki didn’t win the best music video award. I was actually quite disappointed with that. She lost out to Pete Teo’s Made in America. Well, at least it’s Pete Teo and I do agree that his music video deserved the win.

Second

“Man U came from behind 0-2 to be beat Everton 4-2. Chelsea drew with Bolton 2-2”

That’s really not good news at all. Premiership is a wrap. There’s no way Chelsea can close the 5 points deficit in 3 games. Still have another two to fight for and hopefully next season will be better

Third, no reply. Let’s not discuss it to details. I’m not in the mood

Aunt Jenna’s death was a big shock to the family. She doesn’t seem to be sick when I last saw her and that was a couple of weeks ago, she was looking great. I was taken aback, thinking of how vulnerable life can be. You might not know when your turn will be.

There were some points of my life where I realized that I don’t even know what I want. I don’t know what I want to be, what I want to do and I don’t even know what to think of? Sometimes when decision was made, it somehow always ends up being in the opposite direction of what I want, what I desired the most. It often leads to disappointments. It’s a walking contradiction. Not to say that my life is somewhat you might think as a total wreck but to think of it, I think it was not that bad at all. Well, depends on how you look at it. Call it miserable, because I wandered far or maybe nomad or vagabond, call me what you will.

I often asked myself what’s the purpose of life? What’s this life for? Is it to live is to die and to die is to live? I’m not quite sure of what the hell am I saying here but there’s one thing for sure, life is so full of surprises. I just love this phrase “Life is Like a Box of Chocolate”. I bet most of you know that phrase. Well in a sense, I’d like to think that life has a lot more to offer and yes that’s true and what amuses me about life is that often I was so anxious to know what will happen the next few seconds, or minutes or hours or days, weeks, months, years, decades and the list goes on. I only missed out on centuries I guess. But it’s not really important anyway.

Most of the time we just don’t know why is that we are still standing waiting, doesn’t have a clue of what we are waiting for and in the end we got sick of wasting energy and then try the best possible way to find the back door. Normal. I mean it’s a matter of choice that we are talking about. The day we were born, theatrically we were born free and that is our privilege. I might sound like it came from bittersweet frustrations that were piled up forging a decent amount of hate and misery. Look at the world today. That justifies what had been happening all this while.

No matter what happen, how bad things goes, I’m happy to know that I have someone to turn to even if my whole world is like trembling down and everything seems to hopeless. I know that the Almighty will always be watching me from above and make the very best happened. Things happened for some reason, we might not know why but as far as I know, I believe that He had great plans for you and me, for us and for all.

Just like a star shine beyond night time I know you’re there shining your blessings upon me.

To Aunt Jenna,

“The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me besides the still water. He restores my soul; He leads me in the path of righteousness For His name’s sake”

Psalm 23:1-3

Amen 

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