Ok, another boring Friday. Why? No, not because it is Friday the 13th. I have to go to school tomorrow. Darn it. I juts got my appointment letter today. What a relief! I’ve been waiting for that. Well, it is one of the necessary or should I say the key to my future employment since I’ve already set my sights on becoming a full time teacher. Don’t play play ah … I’ll cane you later.

One of the most, not to say most but might be a big issue for some individuals is :

WHO SHOULD PAY FOR A DATE?

Everyone loves to be wined and dined, especially when it’s at another person’s expense. Traditionally society suggests that the man not only initiate a date, but pay for it as well. But is it really fair for a man to foot the bill all the time? Should women ever pay on a date?

I’m a bit old fashion. I still hold to the idea that men should pay for it but I don’t mind if my date, a women of course paying for it. Women are like a treasure. I’m not paying for just a meal. I’m paying a women’s company. The pleasure the company makes my meal sweeter. Well, in a way that’s how I would like to show my appreciation.

But if the other party pay for it, I would not mind because I see there’s nothing wrong with it generally eventhough I still think that a man should pay. What we think and uphold sometimes can be contradicting with what we say and do. In this case, I do admit that. So you see, sometimes we have this mixed signals when we go out on date(s).

A date between a man and a woman is usually preceded by nonverbal communication, and since men are often the initiators of dates still today, his first verbal communication is key.

The man asks the woman out by saying, “Baby, let’s go out” and she subconsciously hears an implied “and I’ll pay” tacked onto the end of the phrase because that is the social norm. Since he is asking, it is his responsibility to set the boundaries of the date. Conflict arises when signals are crossed and the initial communication is not clear. The same goes for the assertive woman who asks a man out. She should expect to pay because the “initiator always pays” according to the norm.

My take on this is, neither party should ever assume that the other is paying and both should always be able to set the boundary from the beginning as to the expectations they have of the other, otherwise, if you ask, be prepared to pay! I mean you don’t just asked a girl out on a date with an empty pocket la and same goes to the other party too.

So, you need to make it clear. Of course not asking directly la. I mean in a sense, try to dig that out or innitiate a conversation that will bring it to “Who Will Pay?” When in doubt, ask. You want to be tactful about discussing it, but it should definitely be discussed. Don’t be afraid to talk about who’ll pay. You can say, “I’d like to treat you or go dutch” Or some people might prefer saying, “Are you treating me?” But always go back to Momma’s wisdom, “Make sure you have enough money for yourself and to get home,” whatever you agree.”

I was on my way to the airport when I there was this heated discussion about WHO SHOULD PAY ON A DATE.

there is this woman in her 30’s. She’s a I don’t know what to call it, let’s just say somebody big in a company. Meaning, she got money. I hope you got what I mean. She is currently seeing this guy, who is actually very sweet and gentle. The guy who is in her late 30’s is someone who have a pocket not as deep as she got. The guy always pay for every date that they went on. The lady, so many times try to let the guy know that it’s ok for her to pay because she understands that this guy don’t really have money also and they always dine at expensive place some more. You know la, some guys never really put in the jacket his own size, not literally but I think you got what I mean. At one point, the lady actually beg that she pay.

I think this is getting not healthy in a way. The fact that the lady insist that she pays is already saying that “Hey, don’t try to tell me what to do“. You got what I mean? So, like me if let say I asked a girl out on a date, I will pay but if she wants to pay, I’ll give her some face.

Some men are offended when a woman offers to pay for a date. They may come from the viewpoint that the man should pay for the entertainment, but there’s nothing wrong with the woman offering. Also if the woman is not interested in a relationship and she’s out with a co-worker or someone else who she’s doing business with, she might not want the man to pay because this way it makes it very clear that she’s not interested in a relationship and that this is business.

So, nothing wrong really … Just need to send the right signal. I guess 🙂

P/S : Tinie & Tina will be going for their KPLSPM courses next Monday. God, you two grew so fast. All the best and take good care of yourself (yourselves)


Tina & Me

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