In some places he is called the delivery man. Some might call him the office boy and in my beloved office he is called The Messenger, a somewhat I would like to call a truly divine and worthy to his name but whatever it is, I just couldn’t agree with that because I do think that he deserves to be called shit-faced rumplestilsdick.

His job is to do office boy work and in case you don’t know that includes maintenance of the building, safety – in some ways, delivery man as the name says it all and etc. I do think you have my utmost respect that you know what the fuck that I am trying to explain here.

Well, rumplestilsdick is the biggest living dick ever in this motherfucking planet earth or maybe at least the town of Bintulu. Why? He’s the biggest fucktard moron that spends his days in the office trying to flirt with Lee – Our very own playboy playmate and lazying his ass downstairs while he got tonnes of work to be done upstairs in the credit department, the department that requires his slavering 24/7. Just to show how fucking retarded he is, he can’t even pronounced any words with ass (Letter “S” you idiot) because his tongue is as short as his fucking dick.

One day, my superior asked me to give a document to Mr. Shit-faced-sorry-ass Rumplestilsdick to be faxed to HQ.

I went upstairs to the big boss room and found Mr. Roody dooh smelly ass lazying around on the big boss’ chair not that it’s to my surprise but I chose to ignore his act of monkeying around.

“Johny asked me to give you this. Fax it to WPC”

He looked at me with a snort and like a dumb-ass pointed at the fax machine and said :

“Don’t forget to sign your name for record”

To be honest, I was fucking pissed. Who the fuck does he think he is. He’s no Jesus and also not a fucking Elvis for fuck sake! I got dumbfucked. Just to avoid any further eye contact with the already very horny looking phat-ass pig I went quickly to send out the documents.

As I was walking out the door, I thought to myself that I can never allow this to happen to me. I gostan back and walked into the room.

“You fucking asshole, fucking retard, who the fuck do you think you are? Do you think I was paid to do the job that you were supposed to do? If that’s the case you might have just kindly give me half of your fucking salary as I’ve been doing most of your work for the past few weeks! This is so fucking insane.”

No, sorry to dissapoint you. I didn’t say that. I went to the room because I forgot my fax report.