You know when I was young I always have a lot of ambitions and these ambitions seems to be changing from time to time, well almost every few months I would say or should I say with every brand new TV series that was played on national TV. I wanted to be an engineer at one point of my life because I think I like buildings and I like art so much but then at some point of my life I have this idea of becoming a policeman, a detective perhaps. You know when we watch series like NYPD Blue, movies like Police Story. It somehow triggers me to imagine myself being that particular person or character that I saw on TV. I’d like to be the thinker that can solve all sorts of secrets and mysteries.

How about Super heroes? Like Superman for instance. Saving lives given the recognition that he fully deserved. Maybe, perhaps I once believe that I can be Karate Kid! Fighting crimes here and there, you know things like being looked up highly by the community. Those are all wild imaginations. Even truck drivers are cool those days, perhaps because of Highway Man or BJ McKay. Boy I love that show!

There were some points of my life where I realized that I don’t even know what I want. I don’t know what I want to be, what I want to do and I don’t even know what to think of? Sometimes when decision was made, it somehow always ends up being in the opposite direction of what I want, what I desired the most. It often leads to disappointments. It’s a walking contradiction. Not to say that my life is somewhat you might think as a total wreck but to think of it, I think it was not that bad at all. Well, depends on how you look at it. Call it miserable, because I wandered far or maybe nomad or vagabond, call me what you will.

I often asked myself what’s the purpose of life? What’s this life for? Is it to live is to die and to die is to live? I’m not quite sure of what the hell am I saying here but there’s one thing for sure, life is so full of surprises. I just love this phrase “Life is Like a Box of Chocolate”. I bet most of you know that phrase. Well in a sense, I’d like to think that life has a lot more to offer and yes that’s true and what amuses me about life is that often I was so anxious to know what will happen the next few seconds, or minutes or hours or days, weeks, months, years, decades and the list goes on. I only missed out on centuries I guess. But it’s not really important anyway.

Most of the time we just don’t know why is that we are still standing waiting, doesn’t have a clue of what we are waiting for and in the end we got sick of wasting energy and then try the best possible way to find the back door. Normal. I mean it’s a matter of choice that we are talking about. The day we were born, we were born free and that is our privilege. It might sound like it came from bittersweet frustrations that were piled up forging a decent amount of hate and misery. Look at the world today. That justifies what had been happening all this while. 

P/S : I’ve added new songs to my CIBOLUTION playlist. They’re my current favourite. Enjoy and happy listening. Have a wonderful weekend guys!

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