Life


It’s holiday again. You know, I start to think that actually bank employees have lotsa cuti ; Not just annual leave but the public holidays and that once in a month leave sorts of holidays but today is a public holiday and I’m at home relaxing, reading blogs and of course writing this entry with my own sweet time.

The past few days I’ve been busy arranging my holidays, applying for leaves as I think I’ll be doing a lot of going places in the next few months. I planned for only the first half of the year that is up till June. I’m glad that my February leave was given a nod by my boss yesterday meaning I will be in KL from the 21-24 of February. Yay!

My two famous intentions for being in KL that time is :

Jay Chou World Tour 2008: Malaysia

I missed a lot of concerts while I’m back at home. Part of the reasons was I was unemployed for almost 10 months before I got my current job and another reason is that I am far away from KL which makes life a little difficult to attend concerts. The last gig that I went to was when Incubus was in town. That was back in 2004. Boy! I love that gig!

I actually got this news from a friend saying that Jay Chou will be in KL. How cool is that? I straight away called bongkersz and guess what? He said got 5 extra tickets, I grabbed one! End of story!

And the second one is :

I’ll turn 26. I’m no Kenny Sia and I’m not going to hold a birthday bash on that day but I’d love celebrate that with all of my friends that I’ve missed so much over the years. And yes it’s you, you, you and all of you!

I’ve yet to think of a place to meet up yet but I’ll let you guys know about it soon enough. This is getting so exciting. I just can’t wait. That would be one helluva week for me!

This coming weekend I will be in Miri again for Carol’s wedding. I’ve been trying to figure out what to wear that night. Haven’t got the time to do my shopping just yet and the wedding is like in a few days! Wah .. I actually ditched my company’s Family Day & Annual Retreat for that wedding. Believe me, it does takes a lot of brainstorming just to get an excuse to not to go for that but I’m happy I survived!

P/S : Zewt, Congrats on you getting married before you reach 30 and bald 😉

Well, to start of things – How has life been for you?

To be honest? Good, I guess. Nothing much except for a few hoo-ha here and there. That’s just part and parcel of life anyway. Who cares. Apart from being busy with warbook work there’s nothing much really.

That’s basically pretty boring isn’t it?
Depends on how you look at it I guess. Sometimes I do think that it’s boring but there are times I find it so enchanting.

Care to elaborate more on that?

Well, enchanting in a sense that I got a work to do and there’s money. There’s a driving factor behind it. Money that is. I know you’d probably ask me next “What’s so enchanting about it?” but I’m not gonna tell you. I let you figure it out.

Let’s talk about love.
Shoot .. This is my favourite subject in school – murderer!

So, let’s start with a simple question of – Have you ever been in love?

Of course I do. Maybe most of the time and maybe most of the time for the very wrong reasons. 😉 Kidding. Yes, I do but if you’re next question is “Who was your first love?”, I’ll have to say your mom. Kill me – Dead!

Now, how does that feel?

Falling in love with someone can be an amazing feeling, especially when it’s for the first time. And it isn’t always easy to be certain that your partner feels exactly the same way. It’s natural to feel anxious about revealing your feelings; telling someone you love could make you feel vulnerable and risks changing the relationship for good. One word, ICE CREAM! That suddenly popped out. I have no idea where it came from.

Have you ever done something that seemed ludicrous at the time to impress them?
Impress who? Owh .. Of course. There was this one time, I’ve got a tattoo of Yogi Bear on my shoulder, which I think I had done to impress a girl, yeah I can’t imagine I’ve done anything that hasn’t been to impress a girl at some point or another. Did it impress her? No, no I don’t think it did, nah, that’s shocking isn’t it? What a waste of ink! – Kidding, I can’t think of any I guess apart from willing to travel miles away from where I am just to meet her, sending out flowers from afar. There was this one time I paid RM80.00 for a bouquet of white roses to be sent out to a girl which I kinda like but in the end she told me that she prefer pink roses instead of white. Darn it! What a waste

Have you ever called them to hear their voice, only to hang up before speaking?

I used to. There was once in high school. I freaking like this babe, I got her phone number but everytime she picks up the phone I hang up. It was only in second year into school that I actually managed to talk to her and I asked her out. We dated for quite a while before we – well, we never really started. 😉

Can you name their favorite … ice cream?
Darn it! This is like playing Ganguro Girls dude! Why are you asking me these questions?

… movie?

Hidden pleasure, MILF .. Some japanese porn I guess. Nah kidding! Really, I never really dig into that. Maybe some sappy sad movie like Titanic. To tell you the truth, I also watch Titanic like a zillion time. Who cares …

Do you find that certain songs on the radio seem to be written about them or the two of you?

Not really but my friend got. The song was “Here Without You” by Three Doors Down. LOL! It was a bit funny because I never expected this friend of mine like that one you know but then come to think of it, he’s human after all. So my dear friend, I understand.

Do you have pet names for each other?

Pussy and Dicky? Doesn’t sounds nice uh? Nope, I never. Even we did have, I won’t tell you. Let me see … pet names: baby, bee, bie, honey, sayang, cayang, cayunk .. what else? Oh ya, how could I forget – Dear of course.

Does a hug or kiss from them really make it all better?
Come on … Of course they do. It’s like a cure for the itch.

Are you thinking about them right now?
Wah .. THEM? So many ah? While I’m talking to you I have one in mind. I just wished that the other side would be the same too. 😉 But then maybe not. It’s ok!

Do you miss them, even when they are in the next room?

We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we’ve never even met? – That was by David Foster Wallace by the way. Doesn’t really answer your question right? We’ll leave it like that. 😉

Have you or they picked a song (you know “yours and their song”)?
I actually composed a few but it always end up as my song for myself in the end. Sad eh? In the end it doesn’t really matter. 😉 I’m cool!

Do you hurt when they hurt?
I bleed. Whoaaa .. Scary huh? Well, if you really love that someone I guess it does hurt you when that person that you love is hurt. She’s like a part of me and how could I possibly not hurt when she’s hurt.

Last but not least, last words? Wish perhaps?
I wished she was here
I wished I could turn back time
I wished I was the January guy
Just wishes right? It wouldn’t hurt that much. 😉

Thanks for your time
Not a problem. Cheers and happy new year!

Remember was talking about company restructuring a few months ago? It took place last Friday and the results, not so joyfully accepted by some or shall I say most of us. Finally HPC and CRC are now under one roof. You might be wondering what are those two. Well, HPC stands for Hire Purchase Centre and CRC stands for Customer Relationship Centre. As expected, Big Boss is not the Big Boss here anymore but a dickhead from the HPC is now the Big Boss. Why a dickhead?

1. He’s a dickhead
2. He know nuts about operations. Insane!
3. I can’t think of any other words than a dickhead

Okay, I know it’s advent and I’m not supposed to say fuck and curse. Enough already.

But the good part is, Johny have been promoted to Customer Relationship Manager and I think it’s about time. He has been with the company for like almost 15 years. So, I’m reporting straight to him and eventhough he’s not the branch manager, HR is under him. So, at the moment I’m pretty much safe. Thank God!

I have some issues with the restructuring actually because I see a lot of redundancies and also a lot of overlapping in terms of power and job scope. Hey, like WTF do I think I am to say this? HQ put it that way and let it be that way. I have enough thing to worry about, my flu, job offers, money – that’s always the issue with everyone. I need some rest and yet I’ve been warbooking all along. God!

This is turning into a civil war …

P/S : Like my new Christmas Theme? Cool … 

Me: This is my first time. I’m left speechless dy

YS: It’s not the right time / right person. Sometimes you just feel not right only after start. like when you look at the menu, the food looks so tasty but when you finally ordered, it might not taste the way you thought it should be

Me: ermmm

YS: that’s something we can’t help

Me: then I’m the bad food then? or the misleading menu?

YS: different people have diferent taste. Like I might like to eat sushi. Some ppl tired once and no more after that

Me: ha ha ha. This is like a very good blogging topic. “of bad food and the misleading menu

YS: huh? I didn’t mean that lar. I mean different ppl have different taste

Me: I know

YS: u can’t expect everyone likes to eat a type of food

Me: but in this case im the bad food that looks nice on a menu

YS: eh… don’t catch my words lar

Me: but really … it struck me

YS: I was telling you food might not go the way I thought it should be. Ok lar, then follow ur way, if u are misleading

Me: ha ha ha

YS: then one day there will be some one who likes ur taste. he he he

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

It’s a direct opposite really …
Nice tune, it got into my head …

And so this is Christmas … Well, almost. It’s a little too early to say. Advent just started and it’s like only the 2nd day of Advent. I remember that it was about this time last year somebody told me ; “It’s over, at least for now. You deserves someone better“. The same goes the year before and I guess the same goes for this year too. Oh, well whatever … Nevermind. I’m still trying to get use to it.

A few years back I will be singing “I won’t Be Home For Christmas” but now that I’m home I won’t be singing the same old song. It could be “Running Roung The Christmas Tree” or maybe “Jingle Bell Rocks” but “I Had A Blue Christmas Without You” will be a hit and “Christmas With You” is very much farfetched. *sigh*

I used to be looking forward to Christmas every single day of my childhood years. back then I have fewer things to worry about because the elders will have to worry about it more. So, life was a little easier and the only thing that I worry about is presents, presents and more presents. Will I get a lot? I guess everyone is very much like that in a way. So, I am not alone hopefully.

Now, as I get older things changed. I no longer look forward for Christmas. It’s just like any other day of the year. I just wished that I could just close my eyes and go numb. This pressing new frontier is killing me softly and it’s something that I just can’t adhere.

Then they’ll say “Life will get better” or something like “It can’t rain all the time“. Agreed, I don’t deny that but the fact that I’ve been hearing too much of that doesn’t really make me feel better. It’s like being high on dope, I need a higher dosage and I need something that can take me to another level of numbness. My perfectly insane life needs to come to an end. This fucking life is killing me inside.

What an entry to welcome the first week of advent …

It’s been a month

Only if …

If only …

Next Page »